Hiya. It’s me, Rayzel.
Some of you know me. And to some of you I’m a new face.
We all have a journey to take and we all have an unfolding story to tell.
Really our lives are a multitude of journeys, all happening concurrently that contribute to that unfolding story.
It is the way those multiple journeys converge, that if we’re looking for it, can allow for the creation of something special.
The skills you learn and the talents you hone, no matter how unrelated they may seem, can meld and allow you to form something unique to you.
I feel like this is what happened to me, and I often reflect on the satisfaction this brings.
I started my very first blog
when my son was born in 2009. It was my very first time learning anything on my own about creating a blog or website.
Slowly but surely I learned how to create these “blog things” reading “how to….” and “how to…..” on google, while my infant son nursed contentedly on the boppy pillow on my lap.
At the time it was simply to combine my need to DO something that felt both creative and productive with the desire to capture the memories and love for my surprise son.
This actually started many years before the birth of my son. I started to notice my previous normal abilities and capabilities all of a sudden NOT be my abilities and capabilities.
This fluctuated up and down for several years.
Sometimes I would feel super-woman-capable, but uncontrollably so, which means you might find me creating old-world plaster finishes in my hallway, or painting surreal clouds on my kitchen ceiling, at 3 in the morning, because I had so much energy I couldn’t sleep.
But then I would spend weeks, sometimes a couple of months at a time, feeling so bone-numblingly
tired fatigued, no, you know what? There honestly really is no proper english word to insightfully describe the feeling in one’s body that has a true chronic health condition like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Fibromyalgia or Hashimotos.
Eventually I got a couple of diagnoses, and some treatment, but I discovered that whatever is really ruling the roost in my body and causing all this mayhem is a ninja at adapting to whatever new environment I create for it.
Whatever treatment or way of eating I would try, initially I would feel better, but then slowly but surely all my exact same symptoms would come back, despite the continued life changes.
This is why I now drink Diet Root beer on occasion and chips.
Because eating 100% perfectly was not the answer to regained health for me.
This taught me to be moderate in how I feel I should do things and how others should do things.
I have been painfully taught not to assume
I know what other people’s lives are like or what they are going through. Because for all intents and purposes I look like one of the healthiest people around.
I think I have in my genetic makeup a leaning towards overeating and addiction to sugar. This seemed to get really turned on when my health spiraled down so far and I had no idea what was going on.
I could no longer do almost ANYTHING that made me the person that I was, and I dealt frequently with doubts from even close family members as to my character. Lazy is the word that comes to mind. This felt incredibly devastating to me and drained my energy even further as I battled with the feelings of injustice and anger over being misjudged.
So, this was a perfectly good time for the true feeling of comfort that one can get from food to steadily sidle up to me and become my little companion.
My grandmother worked very hard to gather and compile permanent details of the past. Whether it was photos, or written stories, or dates, she wanted to preserve history and memories. It was very much a main trait that I noticed of my grandmother, when no one else around her seemed nearly as interested in it.
And thankfully that passed on to me. If it hadn’t, I wouldn’t have the record of my weight loss journey that I do…….
I became convinced of the efficacy of the hCG protocol from watching you tube videos. Real ladies, sitting at their desk on their webcams (because at the time I don’t think doing video from a phone was really a think yet) giving their latest hCG updates. “Today I lost 1.4 lbs….” etc.
And because of the journey of obsession with chronicling my life…..well you can see where these two journeys now converged.
The username hcgchica was born, but that’s all it was for now.
Just a hormone name and a spanish word I used to say all the time in high school as a complete white girl.
My grandfather was a photographer and artist. The artist (like the painting on canvas kind) ability seemed to have totally missed me by at least a mile, but in my late 20’s I got my first Digital SLR. I was after those pictures where the foreground is all in focus and the background is all blurred.
I’m so easily pleased by something colorful or artistic looking.